Often I have realized that the root cause of any issue is difference in perceptions and opinion between people. Every issue that we face is created out of human requirements.
For example;
1. You have an issue with your client because you didn’t cater for his requirements
2. You have an issue with your colleague because he didn’t cater to one or some of your requirements
3. etc
So what is the solution out here? You need to accept and appreciate the differences. For that you need to be an understanding person.
Now, 'understanding' is required when there is difference. And the irony is that the world is full of differences.
Couple of examples I can cite for differences in the world are;
1. Differences in culture of people in different regions of the world
2. Likes and dislikes of each individual
3. Perception differences
4. Difference in beliefs of each individuals
5. Taste of food varies from people to people
6. And so on
If you sit and think, you will find that almost everything differs between individuals or group of people. So how do we survive in the middle of differences? Only one simple answer for it – ability to understand and appreciate both abilities and inabilities of the other person. You need to be an understanding person all throughout your career and life both.
This is one of the very important qualities that you would need to develop as an individual. This will help you go extra miles when you go up in the ladder in the organization.
Let me explain you this in more detail. I will clarify this point with a hypothetical scenario.
Example
Suppose you have been gifted with an eye through which you can see everything only in Blue colour. On the other hand your friend has been gifted with an eye through which he can see everything only in Green colour. Without knowing or being able to experience this between each other, If you chose to stick on to your own beliefs that everything is made of Blue colour, you will lose the chance to understand your friend. If you get in to a conversation at this stage, a clear difference in opinion will emerge and you will start disputing with your friend on what colour the world around you is actually made of. In reality perception at both end are true at the same time and your dispute resolution exercise is a futile exercise unless it ends when both of you understand and believe each other’s experience.
Look this issue from a larger perspective. Doesn’t it send you the signal that at one level you are limiting your beliefs and perceptions to what you can see, touch and feel in your surroundings?
This is where we need to break the paradigm. While our beliefs are true to some extent, the same truth is contradictory in another level. Like the way we feel that Sun is moving round the earth while in reality it is the other way when you look from a higher altitude. Your beliefs need to be relooked in to when you try to understand another person.
If you don’t understand this basic principle, you will constantly be trying to fool yourselves with the false belief that your perception is always right for you. Many times your own perceptions deceive you.
I have comes across many people who keep saying that ‘What I feel right is how I do things’. This is good as long as you have good level of adaptability. For someone who is rigid in thoughts and action, this attitude will do a lot of damage and they will lose lots of opportunities around them to be useful for others - Simply because they will fail to understand their team members’ perspectives.
The bottom line is that the art of ‘understanding ‘ is a pure personal trait and can only be developed with constant observation of world around you, with your need to know more about a person, this can be easily achieved.
And why do you need to know more about a person? - Because you don’t have a choice. To be able to live in a specific community, you need to understand and appreciate their culture right? Similarly, to be able to move along with your team members, you need to know about them. The exercise of knowing about them is nothing but understanding them and appreciating their individuality.
Having known the importance of being an understanding person, now let’s see how to identify situations where you need to be understanding.
It is little tricky and your mind can mis-lead you . You will face 2 situations
1. The person opposite to you is very understanding
2. The person opposite to you is not very understanding.
In the former case, you need to be aware that the person opposite to you is already very understanding and it requires minimum effort from you to understand that you have an understanding counterpart. Many times, we unknowingly exploit this advantage and start piling up on him which often leads to testing his patience. Once he brakes-up (which is an in evitable result) you forget his good past and label him as a non-cooperative person. Example for this scenario is when two close friends break up.
In the latter case, you need to be aware that you have a tough case to resolve. The good thing is that you are more alert. Your expectation is set properly from the beginning and the chances that you will give your best is high. Here you have a real tough task to not only understand your counterpart’s perceptions and beliefs, but also to make him accept of your perceptions and beliefs. This is the scenario similar to two foes trying to patch up.
In short, differences are inevitable and the only solutions to resolving differences is to genuinely try and understand the other person’s point of view.
Hope you got enough food for thought. Keep exploring people’s mind. Be a constant observer. Success will follow you and you will discover the best possible people management abilities in you.
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