WHAT is an 'attitude issue' and HOW to deal with it

One of the most widely used terminologies in the space of people management is the term ‘Attitude issue’

Many a times a grievance gets raised to higher management by the team member and the manager comes back with his explanation saying that the team member has an ‘incorrect’ attitude issue. From my experience, many of the manager – subordinate tussle gets raised and contested in the above manner.

As managers, we should know exactly to categorize a person’s behaviour as a onetime disturbance or an incorrect attitude. Else, we will end up using this as an excuse and wrongly categorise undesired gestures as incorrect attitude most of the time. So, then the question is “how do we conclude if there is an attitude issue with a person or not?

The only way is that you understand what an incorrect attitude issue is!

Let me start explaining this to you with an similar example.

How do you differentiate if a person is asking for money out of ‘GREED’ or out of ‘NEED’? The following indications will give you the answer for it.

1.       A person with NEED will be contented after getting enough money. A person with GREED will not be satisfied no matter how much money he gets.

2.       A person with NEED will ask for money only if he is in need. A person with GREED will crave for money which is out of proportion to his needs.

3.       A person with NEED is conscious of what he needs. A person with GREED is Blind and open ended in that respect

Such simple logical queries can bring out the difference when you hit a T-End like this. So, here above, the conclusion is that the real problem is not money, it is their ‘craving’ for money. This is an attitude issue and have a pattern. Which means, craving for money will not subside by interim money supply but has to be treated at the subtler levels of the victim’s mind.

Now let’s come back to our topic – ‘incorrect attitude’. Something similar happens here. An ‘attitude issue’ can be identified if the same has a pattern in behaviour.

In other words, it is a habitual disorder. Just like any other habitual disorder (like smoking, drinking etc) this habitual disorder can never be rectified by giving one time feedback or showing off your criticism. The person in question is victimized and is a part of the problem and he needs help to resolve it.

How do you resolve an incorrect attitude issue?

This is where your role as a manager comes. When you know how powerful your role is; you start using it effectively. Many times people doesn’t know how to use their role effectively

For example, of a person speaks rude to you. It can be of 2 reasons

1.       He was rude because being rude is a part of his behaviour

Or

2.       He was rude because he was upset on that day for some personal reason.

A manager who looks for attitude issues in team will fail to see the second possibility and will end up taking incorrect inference and future actions.

So what is the way out?

A careful dealing of the issue. I would advocate you to follow the below step by step process whenever you face with undesired gesture from your team member.

1.       When a person shows an undesirable gesture, try and ignore the same and bring your focus to the matter that you are discussing

a.       50%, just by ignoring you will discourage the person to show any more bad gestures and bring his/her attention back

2.       If the person continues to show different attitudes, suddenly stop the discussion, turn around to him (whether in public or private) and assertively ask if you can help him in any way

a.       Many people doesn’t expect such sudden feedback and hence will shake up and wake up to come in line with you

3.       If a person still continues to show his non alignment, you ask for a formal one on one meeting with him and then do the following during the meeting

a.       Give complete benefit of doubt to him and clearly state that you wanted to have the discuss as you felt he needed some help

b.      Then mention that, he seemed to be in little distress as his gestures showed as if he was not comfortable with the meeting decisions and that you genuinely want to hear out his points

c.       After getting the person to the comfort zone, you hear out to him patiently. There can be 2 scenarios

                                                               i.      The person easily opening up his concerns with you

                                                             ii.      The person not willing to open up

d.      Both have different meanings.

                                                               i.      The 1^st means that he didn’t realize he was causing problem and want to help you in resolving things. Here you have 80% change of person having NO attitude issue and 20% chance of person having attitude issue but is smart enough to conceal it. You have a fair chance to be able to resolve it through mutual dialog.

                                                             ii.      The 2^nd means that he doesn’t even want to acknowledge that he has a problem or he is causing a problem – Here you have 80% chance of an attitude issue and needs more careful further moves.

Now I am taking this for further detailed analysis

Not willing to open up

Stage 1

If it is the first (not willing to open up), that simply means he needs more time. Many managers fail to realize that when people are in denial mode, it just means people need more time. So what do you do now?

Simple, you tell the person “I understand that you might be needing more time” and just conclude the conversation by saying “if you ever feel like sharing the concerns, I will always be a good friend and manager to hear it out. Similarly I too would get back to you in case I have any concerns to share with you”

This opens up an endless means to start communicating with your team member and mentor him to be an effective resource. I repeat. For cases which are such complicated in nature, your every small act has its own impact and hence should be calculated and have human touch. If you have any other or more conversation than above at this stage, it will be counter-productive and over complicated.

Give the person enough time to assimilate the subtle depths of the conversation and let it sync in to his mind the fact that you are a dependable friend and a manager.

Sometimes the nature of the topics that I chose to write has subtleness imbibed in to it and hence might need a lot of introspection, experimentation and implementation from the reader to understand and experience the essence of it. This is one such topic.

Stage 2

Now having done the above step 1, what next?

Now that you have given some time to your team member before you sync up again for another round of talk, you need to start doing some ground work and equip yourself you deal with your team member better in your next confrontation.

You should start relooking in to what you have been assigning him as work. Start giving him works that he finds interest. Look at restructuring the team if required. Do things which would change the situations to suit him.

What this will do is; while the team member is tuning himself for the changes, your positive approach will act as a subtle rider and mentor.

Stage 3

Believe me, now you don’t need to do much. Or, rather you don’t have much to do. You have ignited the fire and have put the required vegetables in the pot. Now let it boil by itself until  ready to served.

What I mean here is that when you have done some bit of work, then you have to learn to sit back relax until the next action time comes.

I will explain this by an example. It is like you have taken your effort to board the bus. Now, until the bus reaches the destination, you have nothing major to do other than to just wait patiently. Once you have reached your destination, then you again have some other action to do. Else your effort to make the journey will not be fruitful. But how do you plan your next action effectively? Simple use the time you sit inside the house to fine tune your plan of action after reaching the destination.

Hope you get my point.

Stage 4

Take the case to logical closure. This means, after your wait, when the time is right, have the conversation with the person again, but with the new changed perceptions and situations.

You no longer should view the person as your old trouble maker. You should know how to see things fresh every time. Keep no baggage of egos and keep reminding yourself that you are here not to justify your stand, you are here to help someone.

Thus, start imbibing the positive vibration and client focussed/organization focussed and delivery focussed dialogues with the team member. Give a sense of collective effort and common higher objective. Slowly lift him from a mere individual to a contributor. Bring out the best in him.

Thus take your case step by step - just baby steps and elevate your role from merely managing people to much higher objective of creating leaders.

Bottom line is every individual comes with certain type of attitude as each individual’s character is shaped in different situations and with different kind of people and experience. So, it is foolishness to expect any one in the team without some attitude issues. It is even more foolishness to criticize it and do nothing else about it.

It is a game of intelligence to take it as a challenge, deal with it and resolve it in amicable manner. Hope this blog has given some direction in doing so. All the best!!